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Sunday, January 10, 2016

A couple of days ago, as I was staring at a rack of chocolates I texted some of my friends and asked "will you get me chocolates if I wanted them?"

No one said yes. :( (can you believe it???????)

Instead, they asked "what for?", "are you okay?" and questions along those lines - and one even said "if you need them." I was feeling a little bummed over the replies, but then I kind of knew that that's what they'd say. They know me too well and for far too long. I don't ask for favors for things I can do myself.

Anyway, I grabbed and put several bars of Lindt's dark chocolate into my basket, for myself and some others I thought, like me, could also use some chocolates. I was feeling generous.

Yesterday night, I received an early birthday gift. It came in a bag, and when I opened it, I saw "Royce" (although, as you can tell, the words "cooling bag" was more attention grabbing). At this, I blurted "how did you know I wanted chocolates?", and the reply was along the lines of "I didn't... I just guessed".

At that moment, I felt like bawling into tears, although, really, I have always complained that chocolates are too cliché and that if anyone were to get me anything, it has to be something I couldn't get for myself even if I wanted to. Like a poem, a story, a painting, a doodle, a song, homemade meals, cookies, cards or whatever. Something personalised.

Maybe it was how the gift made me feel that it was okay if for a split second I wanted some chocolates like the rest, and that I could ask for chocolates and expect to have some.

To hope, I think. That's it. To hope.

That while we do not always get what we want, sometimes life presents us with surprises and we're given what we need. And in my case, it was hope in the form of a bag of chocolates.


And it reminded me also of a beautiful quote in Coelho's Eleven Minutes: "when I stopped being who I am, I found myself."