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Saturday, April 25, 2015

On 'Marital Rape': 

You see, lawyers of course, would like to think that the law is the solution to our every day problems - that makes us feel important, like we're the key. It's all about the law - and nothing but the law.

The thing is, it isn't. The law, for the most part of it, only reflects what the society perceives as right and acceptable. Sometimes, of course, the law sets the standard - but we don't need laws to tell us what is right. Surely, we are better than that.

Marital rape, boils down to things that are far from the law. It goes back to the very basic notion of "do unto others as you would have them do unto you", to treat another fellow human being with the same respect as you would want to be treated with.

So back to the question - should marital rape be criminalized? If one answers this question from a "policy" point of view, then yes. Because to do otherwise, is to say that the society condones marital rape. But from an 'enforcement' perspective, to criminalize marital rape is to open Pandora's box. It pits the husband's words against the wife's - one says it's mutual, the other cries rape. Is "injury" what makes something mutual, forced? Not necessarily.

The simple answer to all these? Look beyond the laws. Think outside the "legal box". For as long as we confine ourselves to the overwhelming task of how best to "control" our behaviors with the best set of words, we're going no where.

What changes us is not the law.

We change us.